It was twenty-four hours of living in intensity. It was like turning up the volume on everything, it becomes surreal, standing by the speakers I commented to a friend “We did this”. And the kids are dancing, and we are brought to life once more. I can’t believe it’s over.

In the girl’s bathroom, I find friends from high school. My best friend, who has been to a rave only once before (and hated it) throws a water bottle at me to get my attention and proceeds to tell me he’s never been so proud. Fellow party kids who I haven’t seen in months appear miraculously from nowhere. Two days pass by, and I think of what it means to be alone. To have slipped away from that hug that was reluctant to let go. To lose everything in front of the speakers. And finally, to smile bravely and keep scraping away at the gum when he asks me if “everything’s alright?”

What a strange twist of events. What a way to realize I’m standing on some very unsteady ground. All I want is to curl up in someone’s arms and forget about everything.

This weekend has been one person’s last chance, another to realize I don’t have to be here furtively trying to “enjoy” being patient, and my final call to those evil little heart-wrenching capsules.

It’s time to break every single rule left in the book.
posted 7/16/2001 12:11:49 AM by x-hero.

Chivalry has turned into something much more like honesty, should I follow the examples I've recieved this last week I think I might very well have a nervous breakdown.

To Marcus: Dropping bombs would have the effect of something more like Hiroshima. Big disaster. Sometimes its better to walk away then spark the flame, I think.

To Marco: That's a ripple in a big ficken pond. If you don't understand that, good. Niether do I.

To everyone else: life is too short for crap. I want something more. Where the fuck is my something more? It's on the dancefloor inbetween hundreds and hundreds of sweaty people and flying glowsticks and the pungent scent of bodies slathered in tiger balm. I will see you there, because until then, I am not alive in the way that I should be.

Prophecy is July 13th, 2001.
posted 7/13/2001 02:10:07 AM by x-hero.