I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO HAVE THE (WIRELESS) ETHERNET THAT MY APARTMENT COMPLEX OFFERS START WORKING SOMETIME SOON SO I WOULD NO LONGER HAVE TO RELY ON AOL.

I felt a little . . . odd playing the 747 map in Counterstrike earlier today. All I wanted to do was run in, grab as many hostages as possible, and get the hell out of there. The same went for all of the other maps. Usually I am inclined to run around first and shoot as many people as possible, but not today. Run in, save people, run out. Not only has the terrorist attacks affected my dreams, schoolwork (I can't tear away from the teevee even when I know I have a lot of reading to do), but it has also affected the way I play friggin' video games.

Today I just had to pry myself away from everything and get out of the apartment because I am somewhat mentally exhausted from all of this madness. Tomorrow, err today, is yet another new day. Now I feel is the time to pick up and move on, but never forget what has happened and will happen in New York and Washington D.C.

And the British really touched me when they played our Star Spangled Banner instead of their own national anthem. Five points for you stinky Brits! (Oh geez, I'm only kidding!)

The following is a September 13 entry from InPassing.org.

As I mentioned earlier, one of my close friends goes to school in New York. Around here you may know her as Genevieve. I cannot imagine seeing firsthand the things she is seeing now, though her words make me understand to a small degree. She might not remember this, but one of the earliest memories I have of meeting her was when she was telling a story. And so now I'm sharing her story here.

**********

1) Two towers, emitting a horizontal line of smoke in very clear blue sky.
2) Very clear blue sky.

1) What I saw on my way walking south to class on Tuesday morning, and 2) what I saw facing south after that class. It wasn't until I got home and my roommate caught me up on the news that I realized that I had seen the World Trade Center Towers for the last time. Since then, the things I have seen have been pretty frightening, both on the news and in the streets.

I thought I was the saddest and scaredest I'd ever be when an aquaintance was kidnapped and murdered nine years ago. I thought I was the saddest and scaredest I'd ever be when my father was in a coma for days after being burned and mangled in a plane crash four years ago. Now, I look out my window and see lines of police barricading my street from the rest of the city and the world. I see the President of my country vowing vengeance, and I hear people I respect agreeing with him. Now I pray that I am the saddest and scaredest I'll ever be, because I know that if the United States declares war, the world can only get more depressing and more frightening for all of us. My friends who have lost loved ones and my loved ones who have lost friends agree: adding to the carnage would be a horrible legacy for the innocent and the brave people who are gone and missing.

I could add dozens of second-hand anecdotes (my friend whose building had the windows blown out and had to step over dead bodies to get away from the WTC as it fell; the man who felt such compassion for the people who couldn't get home yesterday that he bought 15 bicycles with his credit card so they could ride across the bridge; my friend who had to pretend to be a highschool student to be allowed on a ferry after running down 48 flights of stairs; the many if-onlys of people I know who were late to work that day, or who decided to telecommute, or who had apartment-searched the financial district the day before) but this is my eyewitness account, such as it is.

It is all I've seen in passing.

This literally made my eyes water.

I spent the latter half of Tuesday evening worrying about a friend in New York that I hadn't seen online the entire day. (He turned out to be fine.) I spent all of Tuesday and Wednesday watching various news channels, carefully listening to any of the latest developments. (It's good to know that things are developing nicely.) I conversed with my three roommates about differening topics that related to these terrorist attacks. (We're disgusted and in a state of shock and confusion--surely not as much as people up north, though.)

I took a two hour nap and dreamt about terrorists attacking my friends and me, then envisioned all of us covered in soot, ground up concrete, debris, and shrapnel. ... Then I saw this big dog attack my foot. I have no idea as to where the dog came from or what the hell it might have symbolized.

I agree. Today is amazing. It's rather surreal. I feel as if I am watching some kind of twisted Die Hard movie--anticipating Bruce Willis to come running out with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips while grasping an Mp5navy.

I'm sorry, I would donate blood if I weren't deathly afraid of a needle poking the delicate area of skin on my inner elbow. Damn. And I'm O+, too. Damn. Damn. Maybe my guilty conscience will get the best of me when the blood drives come around to College Station on both Thursday and Friday. That's a pretty big Maybe. Shit.

I was a tad late for my 9:35A class this morning due to the fact that I was glued to my teevee. World Trade Center i. World Trade Center ii. Pentagon. Talk about HOLY SHIT.

It was an hour and a half later when I heard on every radio station and every teevee channel that the death toll from these massive terrorist(?) attacks may be more than ten thousand. It's all rather heartbreaking to see such devestation in a country of freedom and democracy. I guess I've been taking for granted how great of a place the United States really is.

As for the Palestinians dancing in the streets and handing out candy: May a dark cloud soaked with sulfuric acid roll over their land and rain on their disgustingly disrespectful parade.

You know, I was never ever the person to have any sort of school pride until now. Maybe it's because I had an actual choice in picking my school. Maybe it's because I fought some major battles to attend Texas A&M. Maybe it's because I actually like this place.

Perish the thought.

y0. Check out where A&M is on the USNews college ranking thing whatevers. It's kinda near the bottom, but hey--IT'S THERE, BABY!

"Hey, you know what I love about college?"
"What?"
"You can meet someone in the morning, and be partying with them that same night!"
One guy to his friend, after what seemed like a fun night of partying with strangers.

So true, my drunken neighbor. So true.