« 13:24 pdt » I think the sheer cool factor alone merits posting this link: an aerial view of lower Manhattan which you can zoom-in on, and the images are pretty hi-res. kinda gives you a better sense of the area affected and the damage inflicted.

so today is my two-year anniversary at the agency, meaning a few congratulatory remarks and a $15 gift card at Barnes & Noble -- guess where SEAN'S gonna be tonight!

I always thought I'd be outta here after two years, having had my fill of Canon and its nonsense. and I'm sure Canon's tired of my constant attempts to remake it in my corporate image, but the idea of quitting right now is scary (considering some of my friends are still unemployed and desperate for work). besides, the idea of getting FIRED has always been intriguing: the boss calling me into her office, a few words being exchanged, then bloody furious hell being expelled from my mouth.

but my boss is cool, and I got to experience that scenario (somewhat) with my last boss: the crazed, maniacal, power-tripping creative director who never creative directed in his entire life. his company has since folded.

anyway, it's been forever but... gratuituous Matfei plug. read his analysis on the most Memorable Presidential Quotes, from George W. to George Dubya. so fresh and so clean clean.

« 01:36 pdt » I went home to San Diego this weekend, expecting the usual 3-hour traffic mess as others tried to escape the city; I got home in less than two. the night before, the normally-bustling activity on Larchmont Ave. was eerily nonexistent, the restaurants and cafés all closed by nightfall. and on my way back to LA, soldiers in camo fatigues and armed with really big guns guarded every entrance to the Camp Pendelton military base.

and the radio played songs by Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp and Whitney Houston. constantly. on every station. without fail. without remorse.

interestingly enough, even the bums had American flags waving proudly from their shopping carts, and the local crazy guy on La Brea & Highland was accepting donations for the Red Cross. and I could swear I saw a Blood and a Crip throwing down their gats and hugging each other, their colors combined in an oddly patriotic gesture.

if I haven't yet mentioned it -- what the fuck.

(that wasn't a rhetorical question, it was a statement). well, I know that Atley, Annie, and my dear roomie Jon are preparing for their respective college "Welcome Week" festivities -- probably the only thing I can relate to after this past week of weirdness -- and for that I smoke this bowl in your honor.

« 20:31 pdt » I think this needs to be made perfectly clear, in terms that people of my generation might better relate to:

SIMPSONISM #1: Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, who manages the local Kwik-E-Mart, is NOT Muslim; he's Hindu. and NO, it's not the same shit.

in fact, Islam (the religion practiced by Muslims) is more like Christianity and Judaism than our mainstream media would care to explain. all share similar geographic origins, as well as portions of each other's holy texts (namely the Old Testament). and here's the ultimate shocker, folks -- the Judeo-Christian "God" and the Muslim "Allah" are ONE IN THE SAME:

SIMPSONISM #2: When you see those Shelbyville kids chuggin a Fudd's, it's just like Homer downing a Duff's. they're both drinking the same shit -- BEER.

for those of you still in doubt, the Koran (Islam's "bible") even honors Jesus as a prophet, though stops short of recognizing him as the son of God; likewise, Judaism recognizes Jesus' existence but not as the Holy Messiah.

all making sense now? nah, didn't think so -- it took me awhile to get it all straight, so think about it this way:

SIMPSONISM #3: Marge and her sisters Patty & Selma don't always agree about Homer's significance in their respective lives (she loves him, they hate him), but at the very least they WILL AGREE that the man called Homer exists -- and isn't leaving anytime soon.

now let's get back to our buddy Apu. just as he's not Muslim, he's not from Afghanistan either -- or any other Middle Eastern nation such as Iraq, Palestine or Israel. he hails from India, considered part of the Asian region and not the Middle East as many might assume.

however, Afghanistan is dominantly Muslim, and NOT the same ultra-militant brand that made C.I.A.-chum Osama bin Laden a household name. most Muslims, both here and abroad, will agree in condemning any acts of terrorism as decidedly anti-Islamic, much like murder is condemned in the most basic of Christian tenets:

SIMPSONISM #4: Monty Burns and Mr. Smithers share a common interest -- making Burns happy (ahem) -- and they'll pursue that interest zealously (Smithers is quite the zealot). but when the thirst for monetary happiness pushes Burns to sinister extremes, Smithers must condemn his boss' actions. I mean, HE BLOCKED THE SUN, for chrissakes.

religious extremists like bin Laden aren't limited to just Muslims; we've got plenty of 'em right here in God-fearing America. right-wing Christian extremists will invoke "God's name" and murder abortion doctors; bomb Planned Parenthood clinics; and post private information about these people on their websites -- often with the most despicable of intents.

yep, there are Christian terrorists, too: the doctrine of ANY religion can be warped to terrifying extremes, or interpreted with a deadly, literal accuracy. maybe if we tried to actually understand each other better, we'd know not only who our true enemies are, but who they aren't.

(and I, for one, understand that The Simpsons should never again be used for religious analogy.)

« 11:03 pdt »

"Today, the headling of the Toronto Sun was 'BASTARDS'.

"I admire how they gingerly approached the delicate situation, and made such an effort to stay politically correct, in the face of such dismal times.

"fuck you Toronto Sun." – lyanstyleeee

GOD it feels good to laugh again. and by laugh I mean while not loopy from pain killers, thc and thinly-sliced roasted turkey flesh. mmmmmm, turkey. ok ok, pain killers were not involved. but still.

Brian, who thankfully is alive-and-well in D.C., sent me this article from the Washington Post. while normally I'd have a few choice words of my own in response, I figured the absurdity of Rev. Falwell and Pat Robertson's words would speak for itself -- read it and see who's truly spreading terrorism in this country.

and Dentsu, the Japanese mega-advertising giant which I ultimately waste my creative energies on, has finally sent a statement of sympathy to our company. three days after the fact. well after many of us sought support and understanding through other, less-savory means.

and isn't Japan a good 10 to 12 hours ahead of us left-coasters?

I'm not complaining, seriously, cause it was a comforting and sincere gesture nonetheless. they could comfort me more with a few extra bills in the ol' paycheck, however.

too bad no one from Dentsu reads this. yep.

« 03:34 pdt »

happy belated bday, sher!

« 09:44 pdt » jesus fucking christ.

« 13:16 pdt » monday, back from the dead. I'm letting it go, back for another one. is it wrong to still like Stone Temple Pilots?

I got an email from Neil Diamond's management company today, asking me to "cease and desist" all comparisons of Mr. Diamond to "aliens and/or extraterrestrials, ancient Egypt and/or any other ancient civilization, and slavery." hmmm. I wasn't sure if I should take this seriously, because 1) their requests are far more absurd than what I'd written, and 2) Neil Diamond.

...

the aforementioned event did not happen, but oh how I wish it did.

« 00:00 pdt » have you ever wondered how certain celebrities continue to be popular and successful -- despite the fact they, by all medical standards, should be long dead? the minds at makross pondered this very question...

...and we're still pondering. we did, however, manage to form a few theories on some of our most beloved "should-be-dead-but-ain't" celebrities:

• Christopher Walken, my favorite creepy badguy, living-dead actor, really is one of the undead -- he died about twenty years ago and was resurrected by a demon. that crazy ol' Christopher.
  
  
• GE Smith, the overdramatic ponytailed bandleader on Saturday Night Live , has also been dead for several years. he was fired from the show after being caught eating brains on the set. I never liked him much, being so overdramatic and all.
  
  
• Joan Rivers, the woman everyone loves to clown, isn't even human -- she's a cyborg from the future sent back in time to spawn evil offspring and thus destroy mankind. I mean, have you seen her daughter?
  
  
• Rod Stewart, the man behind Forever Young, has got at least half of that right; he's been alive since biblical times, and after a heated argument with Jesus over songwriting credits was cursed to forever walk the earth. sucks to be Rod.
  
  
• Neil Diamond is an alien -- not some illegal immigrant from Canada or Mexico but a real-life, bug-eyed alien. centuries ago he came to this planet and enslaved the peoples of ancient Egypt, assuming the role of their god Osiris, Lord of the Underworld.